Booby Juice

What boys do when they're alone

Last week I did a rare thing -- I went out to dinner with some girl friends.  No kids in tow.  No husband beside me.  Just me and some other XX kin-folk.

When I broke the news to Lucas, I expected the usual protests with a few tears for good measure.  But when I pointed out to Lucas he could enjoy the all-boys' night with his brother and father, Lucas cheered, "Yeah, just the boys.  Now we don't have to say 'excuse me' when we toot and burp."

Oh, the things fathers pass on to their sons.

Angelina Jolie breastfeeding

Angelina Jolie will be on the November cover of W magazine breastfeeding. 

According to an AP story, she appears, "in a sleeveless top, which has been opened to reveal part of her left breast and a tiny hand ostensibly belonging to one of her twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, who were born in July."

Yeah for such a wonderful endorsement of breastfeeding!

Is this a sign????

So I just typed this huge post, mind you my first post in almost 3 months, and I went to preview my work and Typepad instead navigated away from the page, thus losing the post.  Gone.  Poof!

UGH!!!!

And it was a good post if I do say so myself!  It was about how Lucas told Justin to step in dog poop and Justin did it, and I didn't know how to punish Lucas who had never been so naughty and was being unusually fresh and defiant, so I made Lucas clean the poop off Justin's sneaker, and he was crying and I felt so guilty I haven't been able to forget about it. 

I'm not doing my orginal post justice, but I am just so frustrated!  Is this a sign that I really should give up the blog for good?

Time sure does fly

I can't believe I have only posted twice in 6 months.  Has it really been that long?  And have I really been that...well, absent?  Time sure does fly by.  But I don't need to tell all of you other moms how quickly the days pass, especially when the hours, the minutes, the seconds are spent working, caring for kids, cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, shopping, and all other things that it takes to be a good wife, mother, daughter and friend.  I guess "good Mommy blogger" just didn't make my list much in this new year!

But I hope to change all that.  Remember in my last post when I mentioned I had this great "new" job (I started back in May 2007)?  Well, I just resigned from that great new job.  Yes, I had only been in the position for a year, and yes it was a great job, and at a level that I had spent many years working to get to, but my husband was getting crushed by the mounting work from his business.  In March, when my husband couldn't take one full day off while on our family vacation, it became glaringly obvious that if I was going to be directing any business, it should be his.

So 3 weeks ago, I submitted my resignation and as of May 1st, became an official employee of my husband's.  While this is an incredibly scary and exciting change for us (I had a senior management position with nice pay and all of the health care benefits), we are hopeful that with my support my husband will be able to replace my income and then some!

But even more importantly, we really didn't feel like living the next 20 years always wondering "what if" -- it's far better to fail with no regrets knowing you gave it your best, then to always wonder.  And if we can grow his business into a family business, then there certainly won't be anything to regret!

Where to begin

It's hard to believe it's been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long since my last post.  I guess this is what a school girl feels like picking up her diary after month's of not writing.

I received quite a few emails from my virtual friends checking in to make sure I was still alive and that the kiddos were both ok.  My heartfelt thanks to the three of you (you know who you are)!!!!

I'm not really sure why I was away for so long except that I just didn't feel inspired to write.  It seemed that everything was going well, the boys were good, life was busy -- things I didn't either feel inspired to write about or didn't think would be of any interest. That said, I think the best way to bring everyone up to speed over the past 5 months is a super-easy, bulleted post!

• In May 2007 I started a new job that has me traveling overseas one week per month.  It seems to take me another week to shake the jet lag and catch up with my life at home.
• The boys are both doing great and remain my absolute pride and joy.  Lucas is in a pre-k program 5 days a week from 9 - 3 and Justin goes to a little program 3 days a week from 9 - 12.
• While Lucas hit the physical developmental milestones right on cue, he was far advanced with his verbal development and was speaking in almost full sentences by the time he was 18 months.  Justin, on the other hand, will be 2 y.o. April 3rd and is not only still toddling along, but he also barely speaks 30 words.  I certainly don't mean to compare the two, but even by "textbook" standards Justin appears to be lagging behind -- an issue I plan on raising as soon as we walk into the doctor's office for his 2 year well-being visit.
• Since last Spring Justin had been battling spontaneous, recurring ear infections.  After a spat of 4 infections in 6 weeks in January, Husband and I finally opted for tubes.  Justin had his surgery February 13th and has been doing wonderfully since.
• When not working or tending to the boys, I have been helping Husband a great deal with his sites, which has been keeping me up well past a respectable bedtime.  I usually don't crawl into bed until between 1 and 2 am, only to wake up at 7 to start the day all over again.  My utter exhaustion most nights means I have just enough energy to do the absolute bare necessities.
• The holidays were fairly uneventful, spent locally here celebrating with friends and family.
• In December, I finally made the commitment to lose weight and went on a great diet.  I even asked Husband to buy me a packet of sessions with a trainer for my big holiday present.  Well, almost 3 months later of restricting myself to 1,200 calories a day, keeping a food diary and working out 4 days a week (2 times with my trainer and 2 spinning classes), guess how much weight I have lost?  Come on, you will never guess............ ZERO.  That's right, I haven't lost a single pound.  I also haven't lost an inch around my thighs, hips or chest.  Nor are my clothes or jewelry fitting differently.  Can you feel the bone crushing frustration?  I'm sticking with the regime for fear of what might happen to my weight if I stop!  My best friend, who happens to be a clinical psychologist trained in weight management, says that my lack of sleep and stress are probably the contributing factors and that I should see an endocrinologist to rule out anything serious, like postpartum hypothyroidism.  I've added it to my "to do" list which never seems to ever get totally done....
• With both boys in school, there has only been two week-ends since December in which we haven't had a birthday party (or 2 or even 3!) to go to.  I should have bought stock in Toys 'R Us!
• We redid our entire 1950's basement to bring it to the 21st century!  We also got rid of all of the furniture in what we now call the "adult den" as it was all mismatched, random hand-me-downs from one parent or another.  Unfortunately, the new furniture we ordered for the basement and "adult den" has been delayed, so we have been without anything to sit on for 4 weeks, except Lucas' Pottery Barn chair, a beanbag chair and 4 plastic IKEA kid chairs.
• In the process of redoing the basement and cleaning out some old furniture, I'm also trying to declutter my home and life, a task that is taking me way longer than I expected.  After my mom moved in with us and my in-laws downsized, Husband and I were overrun with stuff, junk and chatchkes, not to mention all of the stuff I had accumulated over the years and 2 kids.  In fact, I have so much crap to get rid of, it takes up an entire room in my house (thank goodness we ran out of funds to buy furniture for the living room!), as well as half of the unfinished part of our basement.  I have finally begun to list most of it either on Craigslist or eBay, and I suppose what doesn't sell I will try to donate.  But who knew getting organized would take so much time?
• I can't believe it's been 5 months almost to the day that I weaned Justin.  Since then, he's only asked for the boo-bahs twice.  I think more and more about having a third, but I am not ready to commit either way.  Lucas said on his birthday candle he was going to wish for a baby sister -- if only it were that easy!
• I also can't believe that Lucas will be 4 on March 28th and Justin will be 2 on April 3rd.  I look at how fast both boys are growing and I can't believe that at one time not so long ago they were small enough to fit inside my tummy.
• Husband and I tried unsuccessfully twice to convert Justin's crib to a bed.  The first time we were told that the wrong hardware was included with the kit and so we were sent a new packet of screws, cam locks and pegs, only to find that nothing still fit.  Now we are told that lay-offs in the plant meant that the holes weren't drilled properly in the rails, so an entire new set of everything is being ordered.  At this point I don't trust the company at all, but the store where we purchased the furniture has agreed that they will come out and put the bed together for us, which I guess provides some warranty should the bed collapse in the middle of the night!
• Justin right now is in an "I want everyone else but Mommy" phase, which is really, really hard to handle.  Adding to the pain is when I scoop him up and he screams, reaching out for my mom, yelling "Mama, Mama, Mama" even though he knows she is "Nonna."  Takes that working Mother guilt to a new level.

Well, I think this probably does a fairly good job of bringing any of you who are still out there up to speed with the goings on of my life.  Husband is currently away at a conference, and both boys are sound asleep in my bed, so excuse me while I try and get myself to bed at a respectable hour and cuddle up to my lovies!

I know it's been a while

I know it's been a while, but I can't bring myself to post.  I'm not even going to be able to finish this one....I stopped nursing September 18th and it's been much harder for both Justin and me than anticipated.

In fact, it's been so hard that even thinking, about writing, about weaning is enough to bring me to tears.  When I'm not crying, I am utterly and totally overcome by ho-hum, with a twist of "I don't want to do or read anything" thrown in for good measure.

It feels like the longing will never end and the void will never be filled. 

A Seinfeld Moment

I was at the gym today on the bike and there was a woman one bike away from me vigorously peddling while reading the Sunday Times.  As she finished with each section of the paper, she placed it on the bike between us, which happened to be out of order.

When she was finished with her ride, she got off the bike and walked away, not wiping it down or taking her paper with her.

As my mind was mulling over whether to confront the woman, tell the front desk or simply do nothing, a man sat down on the bike in question.  Which then added another complexity to my internal debate -- do I tell the man that he is sitting on a soiled bike?

After all was said and done, the concentration and energy I needed to channel in order to finish my workout resulted in all else escaping my thoughts until I was at home and in the shower.

Who wants to use equipment that hasn't been wiped down or see someone's garbage left lying around?  So, what would you have done?

The Final Countdown

Justin is now 17 months and 11 days old.  And I am still nursing.  And I don't feel bad about it one bit. I still love breastfeeding, albeit Justin only nurses once a day.  Okay, sometimes twice or three times a day on the week-ends, but Monday through Friday it's strictly once a day first thing in the morning!  And Justin still loves the boo-baas, as he has come to call my oobies.  Which is going to make next week all the harder....for both of us.

I will be away for 4 days at a conference, so I have decided that my time away will be the perfect opportunity to wean Justin once and for all.  I don't have a specific reason for weaning while I am away other than I just feel like it's the right time to do it.

So every second that Justin is on the boo-baas presents itself as a second for me to cherish.  To remember his time as a baby.  To remember the intimacy breastfeeding creates between mom and baby.  To remember how fortunate I am to have been able to give this gift to both my baby and to myself.  To remember that this is most likely the last baby, and the last time, I will be breastfeeding.

Bearer of presents and producer of boobyjuice

So it seems that 5:30 pm at my house is like the calm before the storm.  Of course, I myself don't get to actually witness much of the calm, because when I walk through the door at 5:31 pm, all hell breaks loose.

Generally, when I turn onto my street, my family appears to be the idyllic suburban family:  Husband is pushing both boys on the swing set, I stop the car, roll down the windows and am greeted with shrieks of, "Mommy's home, Mommy's home!"  Husband plops both boys in the front seat for their special, "long" journey up the driveway.  We all hop out of the car and then it starts....

Lucas:  Mommy, do you have a special present for me?

Me:  No, Lucas I don't, unless you consider the uneaten half of my egg salad sandwich a special present.

Lucas:  Check.

Me:  Lucas, I think I would know if I had a present in my bag.

Lucas:  (becoming increasingly impatient) CHECK!

Me:  (peering into my purse) Nope, no presents.

Lucas:  (whining and crying) I want a present!

Me:  Lucas, isn't my presence at the end of a long day a present enough?

Lucas obviously doesn't pick up on my sarcasm and goes screaming into the den where he throws himself in dramatic fashion face down on the couch, "crying."  All of this because a couple weeks ago I made the mistake of picking up a truck from the drug store when I was buying Husband some deodorant.

By this time, Justin is nipping at my feet, arms stretched upward, grunts punctuated with heavy breathing, and all I want to do is go to the bathroom and pee, because no matter if the last thing I do before I leave my office is pee, it's always the first thing I have to do when I walk through my door.

As I sit on the toilet, Justin becomes increasingly exacerbated that I have seemingly ignored his pleas and he begins to cry while tugging furiously at my shirt.  To be fair, the tugging at my shirt just started at the end of last week as he is suffering through the final phase of teething -- the cutting of his molars -- which has left him miserable at best and inconsolable at worst. 

Husband comes to my rescue so I can wipe, picking up a red-faced hysterical Justin.  As Husband stands in the bathroom doorway, a screaming toddler in his hands and a screaming preschooler in the next room, he questions how everything can go downhill so rapidly when the "Bearer of presents and Producer of Boobyjuice arrives home."

As I dream about the quiet of my office, I wonder the same thing!

Metamorphosis complete

I have officially completed the suburban metamorphosis......

House in the 'burbs - check:

Two rugrats - check:

Handsome husband - check:

Dogs, cats and birds (only 3 of our menagerie of 7 are pictured here) - check:

And now there's this: 

I never thought I would live to see the day when this city-girl (born and raised....) would own a minivan.  Metamorphasis complete.